Mischa - Day 1
The first day was a roller coaster of emotions, but day two began with pure joy.
They moved little Mischa Jadyn to the NICU, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, due to respiratory distress caused by her prematurity. Julie and I would hear another baby cry in a nearby room, and we would feel jealous and sad that we could not hold her in our own room. Although we feel relief by accepting that our daughter's life was saved by our doctor's decision to induce. We also feel the fear based on the sensitivity of her lung development, but most of that fear became relieved.
After most of Monday was spent in the Level 3 of NICU, Mischa's lungs began to fully inhale, deeper and slower, and they reduced her to Level 2, moved her into another room, and we learned that this means progress towards taking her home.
Because of the less critical observation, we were able to hold her for the first time, together. I's amazing how much love one feels when she looks at you for the first time and responds to your voice by not crying or sleeping. The love is different compared to my love for Julie, but just as infinite.
Julie is finding success in her first day of breast pumping, initially, with the collection of colostrum and one drop of milk, making her exhausted while stimulating painful contractions. As she pumped, I went to the NICU by myself, through Julie's urging and my own desire, to hold the baby. I must have sat there holding Mischa for over an hour, communicating to her without words, singing a Carpenters hit and any other song that came to my head.
She would cry in my arms because the tubes attached to her became tucked under her head. So many tubes, which i wanted to move away, for extra oxygen an IV, bp cuffs, etc,, and I foresaw the near future when we could take her home. That's when I would rock her until she stopped. We ended the pure bonding by placing her back in the heated bed, and I touched my bare hand on her entire torso, while stroking her bushy head of hair with the other. Pure heaven as she finally fell back to sleep.
I can still smell the little baby smell on both of my hands.
When I came back to the room, I watched the videos that you shot, and I completely appreciated all the family sentiments, documented for Mischa's future viewing. One day she will appreciate it, so, thank you for making it fun and enjoyable.
Hope you don't mind that I've written a lot, but I'm tired and I might be rambling.
