We've always known the Secret

Part of the new energy of writing is waking up in the middle of my night, whether I go to bed at 10 pm or 2 am, I rustle to consciousness when the desire to express nudges at me. I lay in bed for 10 minutes, get up, write for an hour, then head back to bed. Or if the comfort of the bed with Julie nestled in my chest and shoulder fights with that desire, I wait in bed for an hour and a half, until sleep reclaims my consciousness or I am forced to leave that comfort and plop myself in front of the computer. That second description applies now.

The Universe is speaking to me lately and I have been listening. I’m sure the Universe is always speaking but the difference is, now, I’m quite attentive and taking not that things are going to change. Within me, the change has already occurred, and I know that $10 million is heading our way. I have asked, I believe and I am ready to receive. Those are the three steps to “the secret”, which was not a secret to Julie.

She has been teaching that to me for a long time, and I have applied the secret in my life many times, only now, I am conscious of the process of getting what I want from life and the Universe. I understand the effects of changing my focus, attracting the bad as much as the good to me.

This is why my subconscious tugs at me, re-awakening me from my slumber from awareness. I am aware once again, and I am in control of my life. I have gotten what I wanted from life and the Universe before, and it is happening for me again now in the present, and will continue in the future.

I want it all, and I ask the Universe daily, and I believe. I have creative work that I am passionate about, writing, and I will get $10,000,000 for it. Acting will be and is a part of my life forever, on my own TV show and in many films with fulfilling roles. I have asked for love and Julie entered my life. Now with all the money that is mine, I want a family, a beautiful home by the ocean in California, a gorgeous Manhattan apartment in Trump tower at Columbus Circle, waking to sunrises, and watching the sunset from the heights of our corner view. I want a hybrid car for both of us, doing my part to bring health to our world again. Healthy children, at least two, maybe as many as five, are coming to Julie and me.

I have already found happiness and joy on a daily basis, and as I maintain that part of my life, playfully and freely, everything else is following. My heart is full of love which I give to Julie and those in my life, family and friends, co-workers and strangers on the street.

I am open and listening, awake and aware, and freedom is mine. I am free and that is the biggest lesson that I knew, have always known, and now I know again. I am free.

“God” means the Universe to me, where Energy means everything in it, as in physics, everything in the Universe is energy. I am energy, and my energy is transformed and radiating outwards, calling and attracting through electromagnetic forces. I am simply waiting to receive it, playfully and aware. God bless the child in me.

Change of Life

It's been two months since my last entry. During that time, I've become full-time in the computer store, spending hours upon hours on my feet, answering questions, helping newbies to the world of computing, and selling people things they didn't know they needed, until I educated them on it.

It's a different world than the investment bank, and although, I won't name names on either side, I am enjoying this computer, retail world much better than being the beckon-call guy for million-dollar bankers and lawyers. At least I'm dealing with people in normal life, normal mainly being international tourists, but normal meaning their casual time to improve their lives with a computer.

The writing has paused, but the ideas have swelled, beginning to formulate outlines for the novel or screenplay I am writing. This is a big plus, and just getting it down on the computer has inspired me to keep going. Julie's ideas on scene arrangement, staying clear of typical chronology of plot, is helping me to create fresh ideas. She's really good at that stuff.

Besides that, auditions here and there, on a higher scale, but no bites... YET. I know it will bite soon and the $10,000,000 will be in my bank account shortly. Came close with VH1 lately. It seemed like the likely path, but the path has other plans for me.

There must be plenty of karma in the savings account, hopefully, acquiring interest, as I help people on a daily basis, 40 hours per week. I woke up this morning, unable to sleep, thinking about the two situations that I wasn't able to resolve before the customers left the store.
Wishing I got it right, and remembering the situation for next time, my subconscious is keeping me in check, which is why your actually reading a new entry, at 5:20 AM, before the sunrises, while the east coast sleeps, and Manhattan is shrouded in darkness.

So many people pass through the store daily. It's organized chaos, as my brother-in-law put it. There's a tug between two sides of me while I'm selling. Sell what needs to be sold for me to look good to the managers and make sure the people are getting what the need and want. Usually the two sided align, but sometimes I'm selling things people may not need, although if they choose to learn about what they have bought, they will find those tools easy to use, and fun to begin with, as far as the newbies are concerned. It's a fine line, and I want to make sure I get it right, otherwise I'm up in the middle of the night worrying if they know what they need to get.

I forgot something as simple as getting someone a printer cable to go with their new printer. It saves them a trip back, and time at home going, "where the heck is my cable?" But their lies the guilt, which happens. Mistakes are made, days are long, and I'm always talking all day to people.

Funny, I never saw myself in sales or retail, but I really enjoy it at times. One, I'm a geek and have always been a computer geek. I've denied that side of me for too long, and the real geek in me is allowed to flourish. The other, hammy, actor side also gets served while giving newbies and veterans an intelligent show, about products I love and believe in, and have acquired fortuitously while in the employ of (insert name here).

In the process, I've acquired friends, albeit younger ones, who are all artistic balanced with enough nerdiness to know about the exploits of the gigahertz, memory, hard drives and graphics card. All walks of the arts are represented, and there is a reason for me to work here. I have craved stability and consistency; ask and I have received. I have benefits, stock options, and a potential 401(k), all in the realm of adulthood, responsibility, and leaving the 20's way behind, and I'm totally cool with that.

I'm also learning so much about what I have denied myself for a decade, since leaving engineering and finding acting. I'm in touch with techno tools that only deepen my love for art and creativity. There all tools, and I'm using my movie chisel.

The only thing that is remembered on a daily basis... I am an artist, and will always be an artist.

So the writing continues, the pursuit remains, and the expression of thoughts, emotions, dreams and truths will forge through the ether, seeping into the energies of my Universe.

Love is in my bed at night,
and this font of soulful reserves,
spills and drenches,
cleansing and purifying
My soiled feet that have tread
the pathways of men and women
laid forth before my birth
whose creators are no longer flesh
yet wander those same paths alongside
the tourists, the wanderers
the new creators
always adding layers to the path
while wearing down the dirt and concrete

this is the city of spirits and light
dueling with darkness
and a hole in its heart
at the end of the pathway
the spirits linger waiting
waiting to rebuild
waiting for an end to lingering
leave stones in monument to them
and keep walking your pathways
finding a place to place my own stone
and come back home to bed
to cleanse from the font once more
every day
every month and year
Love is in my bed at night