Space and a Breath

Sometimes you need some space to breathe before you expel any expletives, or rather so something less vulgar will come out your mouth. That can go without saying, and when I’m saying nothing, something is building up and waiting to explode on the person next to me. Married people know the drill, or so I’ve been told. Spouse make good target. But not for the enlightened and able-minded, in control of their emotions and purveyors of bridled passion. Spouse make good sounding board and not emotional projectile receptor.

Maybe Iran needs some space to breathe, and for all better purposes, maybe we in the U.S. do too. And it looks like Pakistan might need a breather after letting the world know how close it was to being bombed "back into the Stone Age" by the U.S. Bush is "taken aback" by these comments, and denial isn't just a baby-floating river in Egypt.

One side is saying one thing but hearing something else, and because they heard something else, which so happens is interpreted as offensive, that side responds with a deliberate verbal attack, and, oh look, they just verbally attacked us! How dare they, when we were saying this, and ‘that’ is what we were trying to avoid, but they want to bring it up. Sheesh. And we don’t understand that what we’re saying is offensive, and the cycle continues, then escalates, and then there’s nuclear war. Problem solved, no one is saying anything now.

At least, that’s how emotionally unhealthy people attempt to communicate. I do that sometimes. I won’t see that what I’m saying or doing is pissing someone off and an argument ensues about one thing, when I was talking about another. But my point that I was so eloquently trying to make, no matter how valid, is now lost in the horrific display of miscommunication through a downward spiral of name-calling and feet-stomping.

That’s when I should look for space and breathe. That’s when the healthy people know to walk away and not say anything at all. But not everyone is healthy one hundred percent of the time, no matter how much progress one has made towards becoming stable human being. We’re only human, after all.

Not human enough, is not recognizing this about one’s own human nature. We’re going to get mad once in a while, and that’s normal. It’s what you do with it that counts. I like to smoosh it up into a little ball and throw it at oncoming traffic, preferably taxis who honk at walkers with the right of way. I also tend to be a forgivable arse to my wife. I’d like emphasize forgivable.

But that’s just me. Others like to hurl themselves into crowded shopping areas with dynamite duct-taped around their chest. To each their own. I guess it’s hard to really discuss anything when there’s the threat of weapons-grade uranium enrichment, suicide and roadside bombers, bus and train explosions, and exchanged rockets over borders by nation-sponsored terrorists. But who’s really listening when your ears a ringing. And who was the terrorist first?

Colonial revolutionaries having a Tea Party were terrorists. Arafat was once considered a terrorist, up until he won a Peace Prize. Funny how history re-writes itself, or time brings redemption. Copernicus was ridiculed and considered a blaspheme, but now he’s a visionary and pioneer. But he wasn’t blowing stuff up, though the Church might have liked to burn him up.

It’s all how you look at things. After seeing war for five years, maybe all parties involved, even the proximate observers with a stake, want peace. That’s what Bush and the Iranian president said this past week in interviews and speeches. Maybe they really want peace, and I hope they do. No matter how evil the other one says they are, humans all want peace and to be left alone. Hey, if it goes on long enough, and it’s still a stale mate, they may agree to disagree and go about their business.

The Crusades took a breath after centuries of civilizations clashing. Let’s hope, before the Pope puts his foot in his mouth again, that the War on Terror won’t become another Judeo-Christian-Islamic battleground lasting a millennium. Maybe it already is though, and we don’t know it yet. Give it a little space, take a breath, and who knows what history will call it?